R E C L A M A T I O N

Made possible by Fujifilm, Maggie Steber, Kerry Payne Stailey & Justin Stailey

Blenheim Park, Maine

陳小鳳 Tiffany chin Luong
 

A love letter to you from me

DEAR FUJIFILM,

Thank you for making the hope and dream of Maggie Steber’s The Secret Garden of Lily LaPalma workshop hosted by Kerry Payne Stailey a reality for me. It was a welcome break from the hustle and grind of the everyday - in between my work listening to and photographing client stories, I would collect little notes of different rabbit trails of ideas I’d like to work on “someday.” I write this with the deepest heartfelt gratitude that getting away to Maine made “someday” that indescribable last September week amongst the fall forests and farm of Blenheim Park.

At Maggie’s Secret Garden workshop, she sent us out every day into Kerry and Justin’s magical sprawl of forest and flowers with the challenge to find what may have been undiscovered in the gardens of our hearts, where our inner thoughts (fears, regrets, joys, hopes) reside. I have never experienced such a creative haven, where I could let all the questions rattling in my mind become some semblance of a conceptual photo project. 

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In the Secret Garden workshop, I concepted this project—Reclamation—that sets out to answer the questions that have been long-burning on my heart—

Did I have a happy childhood?

What if grandma had told me her story?

What does it mean to be Chinese?


I had just finished a documentary project (What we inherit) also trying to answer these questions. This time I wanted to make a different project in a lighter, well, light.

In Reclamation, the photos show a revelation and reverence for the Chinese culture I spent so long rejecting, glowing in anticipation, hope, and joy.


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I spent a long time rejecting the notion of being Chinese; trying to understand this, I unearthed old memories.

In first grade, my parents brought me a dimsum lunch one day and I threw it away - I'm not sure what was more mortifying to me - the embarrassment I felt about eating Chinese food publicly or the punishment I faced afterwards. To this day, I still don't know why I did it... maybe someone had made fun of me? Maybe I had already internalized some sense of self-loathing for simply being Chinese. 



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My late 20s-early 30s have been a slow shedding of everything I was ashamed of, and I have been working diligently to understand my grandparent's immigration story since they never wanted to tell me (down to tracking down a transcript of their entry interview following the Chinese Exclusion Act), and to make amends for that childhood lunchtime mistake. 

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“Orange cheat sheet” (above) is a depiction of the Paper Son phenomena following the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882 and the San Francisco Fire of 1906. The loss of records in the fire opened up an opportunity for Chinese men who were already in America due to the Gold Rush to bring family members they had left in China, and if they didn’t want to come, brought over friends instead as their “son on paper,” or paper son. During this time, Chinese immigrants were detained and subjected to impossibly long interviews in which their answers needed to match their sponsors’ answers, such as “how many windows are on the east side of your house?” and “how many paces to your village market?” This was to test the honesty of the familial connections, of course, but this also made it difficult for true relatives to prove their connection. Test questions were written and hidden into orange peels and delivered by Chinese waiters to patrons in restaurants, or sent back in fruit baskets at the dock back home to relatives.

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To this day, my father still wonders if my grandfather was a paper son. We will never know. “What if Grandma had told me her story” is an imagined telling of how she got here. The feelings that welled up when she left her war-ravaged village; the long journey in the belly of the boat over the sea; her detainment at Angel Island while pregnant. I would have listened if she wanted to tell me. My bones would have memorized her words if not for our language barrier.

万分感谢

Thousands of thanks

I am so grateful to Fujifilm for your generosity awarding amazing scholarships and participation in the current collective vision for making space for BIPOCs like me. Being at the workshop was both an incubator and springboard. It felt like a safe space to explore and play. Maggie and Kerry made me feel like my story was important, not only to me, but possibly to others who have had the same questions. I am still feeling both propelled and humbled by the weight of this experience.

I will keep trying to make you proud, Fujifilm!

Behind the scenes photo of Margaret, another scholarship recipient (right) and me (left) by Maggie

 

Fujifilm, 这次全靠你

This time was all thanks to you

All images © Tiffany Luong, 2021

tiffany@tiffanyluong.com